Whole Lotta Changes in this Muthaluva! Damn, Sistuh!
So, sis, you’re getting an extended blog this month because life is picking up and I can’t leave you behind. That means more new experiences and more lessons. July gave me my money and allowed me to breathe. August kept her foot on my neck all month long and forced me to apply all the lessons that I learned. July, you have my heart and August you made me use my brain in ways that I may not have before.
Life moved so fast that I forgot to process it. At this time in my life, I’m just rolling with the punches, but I do take moments to appreciate the finer things. July allowed me to save for the pre-planned move across the country. It moved fast, but Miss August ran her ass across that stage. She then had the nerve to throw hurricane Ida in the mix as a closing performance.
I said that I’d write for y’all during the good times and the not-so-good times. This is not a highlight tape. It’s an accurate depiction of my life. So here goes…
On August 27th, I hopped on a United Airlines flight to Detroit, Michigan. I did not go on a wish and prayer. I went with my family, my boyfriend, pre-shipped clothes and car, and I had already found a conveniently placed apartment. These things made the initial adjustment way easier. As a child, I was taught to have a plan before making drastic decisions because if you fail to plan then you plan to fail. Failure is extremely terrifying, but it gets me a step closer to appreciating my success. Here's a not-so-little-known-fact about me: when I feel a bit out of control and I know I am on the brink of a new growth stage.
In the moment where things look dark and uncertain, I believe that I am malleable in this state. By that I mean, I can become who I want to be by taking the time to learn what I like minus the preconceived notions of those who knew the old me. It is important to understand that even though your parents are instrumental in your upbringing, you ultimately decide who you become. I would give an example, but I know y'all can be sensitive, so whatever you become just know you did that shit and things are only as permanent as you make them. You should never stop growing. For my girls with no real attachments or burdens this is when you put your foot on a mf's neck, you hear me?! Have fun, but start doing things that those before you could only dream of.
Never let a person who has not been where you're going dictate your path!
Like b*tch you only been around the corner, how the fuck can you tell me what it's like across the canal? These people are typically great examples too... GREAT EXAMPLES OF WHAT NOT TO DO! Carry on, Miss Ma'am with the unsolicited commentary like you always do.
This blog is different because so much time has passed and so many new experiences have occurred. I promise to try not to wait this long to write a blog everrrr again.I don’t know exactly what to show or tell right now so here’s a list of new things:
Damn, Sis this was new:
Goat yoga (6/10)
I was a plant mom
Moving just before a hurricane
I learned to make gumbo
I made a new friend from my pole classes and she introduced me to goat yoga! I saw some white girls from my dorm do it when I was in college and I have wanted to experience it ever since. Not because I actually gave two fucks about the goats, but because no Black girl that I know does yoga with goats. I would never try to discourage anyone from experiencing anything for themselves, but I will not be going again. The goats were running mad! One jumped over my head when my eyes were closed… I opened my eyes again to a goat all up in my face. The goats fighting over food and one step on my ankle, chile. I should’ve pushed it, but goats have horns, so no thank you. Another goat screamed in my ear and I woke up with a headache the next morning. Imagine all of this happening while a bitch is whispering, “Stretch your arms and really get into the lung as you experience the elements around you.” Do not go to goat yoga to relax, just go for the goats!
My Time as a Plant Mom:
Turnnesha the Albino Turmeric was the first plant that I ever intentionally cared for as an adult. I did the research. I watered her. I talked to her everyday and looked as her growth as part of my own journey. I was actually proud to see her grow as a result of the effort I put in everyday. I actually got her from Paradigm Gardens- where goat yoga was hosted and everything was going just fine until I looked on Pinterest to make a DIY pesticide to prevent bugs from biting her. I just knew I was doing a good deed for my new baby to stop them dumbass bugs from biting her, but NO. I got a message from my country friend (she doesn't appreciate the alias) the next day saying," My grandma said if you spray your plant with pesticide it will die and the food it grows will be no good." Like what theee fuck! I got attached to my plant and began to care for it just find out it had a fast approaching end date. As the first plant began to die, I did notice a little sprout come up which gave me hella hope. I was not a murder and that right there warmed my heart all mf night! If you don't know anything about turmeric, the part that most people eat actually grows under the ground. I have no clue what was happening under there, but I know there was still some life.
Quick quick update: The hurricane did not even kill her. Real bad bitch was supposed to live. You can quote me.
HUUUUGE LESSON: DO NOT SPRAY PESTICIDE ON THE PLANT!
Do y’all know how expensive moving really is? In college, they furnish apartments like all you need is a comforter, some towels, and food as the bare minimum. In adult life, these apartments come with nothing and I mean nothing. In some cases, no microwave or in-unit washer and dryer. I had to buy all the things. Thank God for my parents because they did the heavy lifting for me and STILL! The shit that I did buy was not cheap!
How do you account for move-in costs?
Groceries, cleaning products, decoration and the essentials that you probably take for granted at your mama house. I promise that for the months of September/ October I’ll create a realistic budget and share it with you, Sis.
Shit is getting real, but damn, sis, this is why I started this platform in the first place. I am twenty-three and life is looking really different on this side.
Let’s set some September goals:
Create a budget for bills and hobbies
Explore 3 new coffee shops in Detroit
Do not forget about entrepreneurship-a pause is not a full stop.
Learn to balance my job, mental health, and overall wellness
Damn, Sis you made some lofty goals. Let’s start working toward them today.
Before I exit, here's some affirmations for my girls carrying the burdens no one can see.
You are intelligent.
You are powerful.
You are capable.
You are innovative.
You are resourceful.
You are beautiful.
You are human.
You are you and no one else can be that.