Chickenless Chicken
Y'all know Damn Sis isn't only about those cute sets y'all ate up in 2024, right? If you ain't know I am here to remind you! You gone get this work...shoutout to Jasmine Mans! The lady told me the importance of self-talk so I won't use language like sced ahh bih or nothing. Cause who is even scared for real?! You're currently reading from the soul of chickenless chicken, Sis!
If you want to get into the same vibe as me while you read this blog, I am currently listening to the Ella Mai EP. Feeling soft as a woman and as strong as the perceptions of a Black one.
You ever look up and say, "Damn, I am okay for real!" That's where I am right now.
Giving every bit of independent thought and calculated risks. I started reading a book called "How Big Things Get Done" by Ben F. and Dan G. The first chapter is called "Think Slow Act Fast" and basically they said if you think through all possibilities before you act and do your research, your actions should be efficient and timely. I'm lowkey feeling that mindset, except sometimes it stops you from ever doing. Sometimes, you have just to do and see, Sis. If you ask me, I'm in a hybrid era between the two mantras mentioned above. We making it though for real.
I been putting my big girl pants with a whole lot of stuff. I learned a valuable lesson about filtering through unwarranted advice. "Keep the fish and spit out the bones" when you realize there were gems in a conversation you needed to hear even if you didn't want to. I also learned when to push the dumbass fish man out of the boat--like, shut up puhleaseee! Everyone is not a prophet. Everyone should not know your business. Everyone should not be able to offer you commentary. That can get heavy and extremely draining. I have been turning to God for confidence and life lessons. So far, I've Ruth, Esther, and Job! Here are the cliff notes:
God allowed the Devil to break Job down to almost nothing to show how faithful of a servant he was. God watched it all play out and let Job whine until He couldn't take any more. Before, God granted Job more than before He had to pop it. Not only did God reveal the thoughts of Job's friends and put him in a complete season of isolation, but He allowed Job to lose everything and question Him in the process. God said, "I let you question me now it's your turn, listen. Did you create the heavens and the earth, or was that me? Do you know the bounds of the earth? Can you conquer the leviathan (a super-strong sea creature)?..." Basically, He said don't forget who is really Him. In the end, God granted Job the max- longevity to see multiple generations carried, and everything he took away was multiplied
Ruth and Boaz were super direct for me. If he wanted to, he would. All you do is be the truest version of yourself and stand in good character. The right man will naturally want to provide and protect and that would be a reflection of his character in how this is carried out. Boaz peeped and played the game right. Ruth was humble and loyal to her mother-in-law. She had an independent enough mind to hear the play of how to get Boaz's attention but enough self-respect not to throw that thang on him. It played out in her favor.
Esther is a story of sacrifice, timing, and influence. She had some guidance from Mordecai, but all my girl needed was the platform for real. If people with a certain background can't be here I'll keep that myself, which is basically how it went down. Know when to reveal what and when to just play your role for the greater good. If I can say Esther had anything, she had pretty privilege and strategy. She is just like me if you think about it. In the end, she saved her people, and the person that was in power before ended up getting the short end of the stick. (Dude wanted to kill all of her people on a power trip and ended up dead, Chile.) Esther taught me how to think past step 3. My good sis was steps ahead unlike Queen Vashati who was gone before she could even get anything done for real. You have to watch that ego sister!
Check it out for yourself. I'm not a pastor or apostle I just did a little reading and shared interpretation. I'm taking a break right now, but I'll kick back up with Proverbs soon, though. Feel free to DM me about any of your reading, Sis, or better yet comment on this blog post.
How's 2025 different from 2020, Sis?
Experience and confidence. In 2020, we were doing it a lot more scared than we are now. In 2025, we know something, Sis! We got some existing frameworks! I know, on a professional front, the kinds of work I will not be happy doing and the clients I cannot work with. On a personal front, I know what I ain't going for in all relationships. No friend or partner will make me feel less than. I know the experience I want, and I am learning what is fixable versus what's a character flaw. I now know that no one else is responsible for my triggers, but I can make people I care about aware of how certain things make me feel. No one comes cookie-cutter perfect, so you have to know what you are willing to deal with. At this time in my life, I can acknowledge where I was moving out of hurt and trauma and how to know when certain behaviors are a trauma response.
I am still a gym girlie! Baby that habit has formed! Even when I'm sick, tired, or bored I know I have to get back to it. I've reached the point in my journey where I know it is an essential part of my routine, but the timing can be reprioritized if other things come up. Of course, clean eating is a challenge, but we are going to keep fighting, Sis. If you needed someone to tell you that spaghetti squash is the wave it is!
Let's list some affirmations and get up out of here!
I am knowledgeable
I am powerful
I am the solution
I am capable (MORE CAPABLE THAN THAT)
I am beautiful
I am patient with me
I am becoming all that I've dreamed of
Til next time, Sis.
Rooted in Growth & Grace,
Damn Sis Out🩷
Let me print this out and put it on my bathroom mirror!! "I am learning what is fixable versus what's a character flaw. I now know that no one else is responsible for my triggers, but I can make people I care about aware of how certain things make me feel."
Love love love those Bible references. Claiming all of those affirmations.
I truly and thoroughly enjoyed reading this exceptionally well-written blog post between my homework sessions. It was exactly what I needed, and I’m eagerly looking forward to the next post.