Phase II Woman
So as a woman, I believe it is important to take personal inventory over your life every so often just to make sure everything is on the up and up. Sometimes we move through life by routine and forget to check and see if we are really okay with how things are going. Every time I feel the need to do this inventory check I know some big change is coming.
Sis, dating has kicked my ass a little bit as of late. I dated a man who led with money, a man who led with passion, and one who looked almost perfect on paper. Judge your mother! After those experiences, I decided that this was the perfect time for me to take a real break from deep-dive dating. I define that as fully committing to a person and seeing where it goes over an extended period of time. This is only different from a situationship because I said so and two out of three would still be here had I not taken inventory. Something feels different for me though I think it's because I learned my Gemini lesson… I wish I could give you details, Sis, but I ain’t quite ready yet. Just know, I see people around sticking it out and going through the motions and that is fine and well! I just want to pause before I allow myself to go through the ringer with someone and I have inner work to do.
That being said, let me introduce you to Phase II. The Phase II woman has done the “Let's see what’s gone happen” and found tf out quick, Sis! She’s ready to take more calculated risks and bet on herself. She is paying attention to her gut the first time and learning to use her anxiety as her strength and not her hindrance. She is networking her ass off, you hear me?! She is also getting to that TIMELY follow-up. The Phase II woman is not only doing it scared, but she’s doing it with a team of ALIGNED partners.
She understands that more than one thing can be true at once and just because someone sees your value does not mean they are respecting it. In fact, some people who know how far you’re capable of going will try to stop you.
The Phase II woman is still a forever learner, but she is no longer naive to the evils of the world. Today, I cried thinking about this phase of my life because God does not want me dependent on a soul right now. So much so that I am scared to get close to anyone who is not aligned with HIS mission for my life. In the past few months, ugly truths were revealed to me about people I tried to lean on. There was no need for in-depth conversations between me and these people, but it was made plain that God showed me something, Sis. It was almost as if he said, “NAH. They ain’t for this road I got you on and they can’t come where I’m taking you.” As I continued to see this, I couldn’t even argue with Him because this is no one's fault in particular. I have not made a stink about this.
I just made an observation and made my exit.
Three huge objectives for me right now are a) learning to transition, b) understanding the capacity of others, and c) devaluing some of the voices around me. The Phase II woman trusts herself because she knows every decision (most) will be made with a clear mind and pure intentions. Don’t start this journey if you’re scared to piss people off. This ain’t that nice girl shit they teach you in etiquette class. This is the Black Woman’s Art of War.
Through the bows of life and death, I’ve learned to not take my own feelings for granted. Sis, I excommunicated whole family members and I am fine with it. If you’re not respecting my boundaries you gotta get the fuck from ‘round me expeditiously because I do cuss. The Phase II woman is so clear in her communication that cuss words are almost unnecessary. You know you had her all kinds of messed up simply by her delivery. (*claps in a circle three times*)
The Phase II woman is fit physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. Sis, this shit gotta make sense across the board. This is self-love at its finest. In order, for you to speak it externally the work must be taking place internally or you are by definition a fraud. (Too harsh?) We ain’t none of that, Sis! We are works in progress and heavy on the work!
This ain’t about hustle, motion, or being a boss babe. You been that. The Phase II woman stands in that with ease. She is probably still scared, but she is qualified for the job.
Damn, Sis.. It’s PHASE II.
{You Ready, Sis?
Let’s Go Get ‘Em}
Let’s not skirt off without these good ole affirmations!
I AM...
I AM...
I AM SAFE!
I AM BEAUTIFUL!
I AM SUCCESSFUL!
I AM WONDERFULLY MADE!
I AM TRUSTWORTHY!
I AM CAPABLE ( AND MORE CAPABLE THAN THAT)!
I AM STEPPING ON NECKS AND WILL SOON BE WRITING CHECKS!
I AM WHO GOD CALLED ME TO BE!
You feelin' the latest blog, Sis?
Sure am, Sis!
Not really, Sis!
