Sis, This Sh*t Hittin' Different!
Contrary to Beyonce’s bop, I did not wake up like this. I am merely becoming and it is beautiful. I did not wake up in January with a whole new mindset. I honestly started to shift my perception due to fucked up experiences. I realize now that you twitter hoes ain’t just wake up with sense like that- someone broke your heart at some point. It’s sad, but our realest lessons come from some of our hardest falls. By the way I’m speaking, Sis, you guessed it… I’m single. That’s why I took a break from my blog because I didn’t know how to tell y’all, but there it is. A nigga was here and now he’s not.
In the time that I took off, the job got stressful, clients had needs that I lacked the capacity to meet and my mental was fried. My days dragged by and they all ran together. If you know me you know this one hit different. Shit, if you read my other blogs you’d know that this one hit different, but now I can honestly say I hit different.
In terms of self-love, I really be loving me some me. I started treating everyday like Christmas (NOT MY BEST IDEA, BUT STILL). If I wanted it, I got it for me. Some days were less lit than others. Some days were pretty damn bright. I had hella visitors from home and college. My girls really came through. I love y’all for real. People like to say “Don’t show a mf you feeling weak,”…man fuck allat I felt weak as shit! I can say now that I know that feeling I won’t ever be in that position again. Not saying I won’t ever love again because that’s cap, but saying I won’t be so naive.
Sometimes you have to take a step back and say “I’M THAT F—--KING GORL!” No shade to anyone else, but this is about me. Shit feeling real personal.
I have a goal to be fully self employed by 25, which means while my “Kobe year” will be celebrated, it is not that deep for me. When I’m 25 though me and the girls will be somewhere shaking our asses on a yacht that don’t move because I have a weak stomach (yikes).
It’s 2022 now though, Sis, and those feels you were feeling weren’t in vain. I challenge me to move with conviction and discernment and make no exceptions for anything that goes against my values.
So here’s what we gonna do:
ONE: Get tf out of Detroit. (I don’t love it)
TWO: Kick Damn, Sis up a notch
THREE: Shoot more professional shots to my marketing clients.
FOUR: Tap into Urban planning just a little. (She’s being modest guise)***
New Experience Alert:
I went to Atlanta (ATL HEAUX) for the first time with intent to clear my head for the year. I had never been to Atlanta and I honestly got tired of people ragging on me for it. (What they gone say now, Gotti? What they gone say now?) I got a puppy for Christmas after I had already booked the flight, so my girl Brownie pulled up with me. Listen, my trip to Atlanta was everything, but relaxing. Talk about dronk wtf?! I should’ve known when my college friend texted, “You still drink?!” that he was on all bullshit you hear meeee. It was cool though I needed it. My hotel was beautiful. I 100% recommend! I did some shopping in Lenox and copped a cute little purse. I went to Shane Justin’s store front and loved it. We also went to that restaurant where Gunna ran up a check unnecessarily that one time. It’s called Little Steak Alley and I've been dreaming about that mac n’ cheese for real. Some drinking. Some eating. Some brunchin’.
Yeah yeah, but my most favorite part was staying in such a walkable area. “I actually like love long walks” head ass, but no I really do y’all. Examining how a city is mapped out is one of the most interesting things to me. I told my best friend that I think I have a subtle interest in urban planning/ conceptually designing cities and BOOM!
I called my mama and my mama told me, “That’s actually crazy that you say that. You might just get your opportunity.” I said, “Well, look at God!”
While I was expressing thoughts on becoming an urban planner, my family had put in a bid for a significant amount of land that would allow us all to do just that. From what I was told, it’ll be a challenge for all of us to learn, build, and grow. As soon as they picked me up from the airport, we drove to this site filled with lots of greenery, trees, and I’m pretty sure wildlife. The timing of it all was unreal- from the thought to the call to the news of the win. This isn’t something that’ll happen overnight, but it is something that can change our lives as we know it. Real next level ish. As you grow and find systems that work for you there comes a point when you have to audit those systems for efficiency. This project will not only require a strong team, but also efficient systems. That’s where I come in- efficient systems and subtle urban planning.
With the feeling of a fresh start I figured I'd add an additional paragraph. Everything that I've experienced thus far has been a true test of faith. No matter how I was feeling personally, I still had deadlines in my professional life that had to be met. I've always been amazing at compartmentalizing, and learning to battle my feelings. The need to present a strong front professionally definitely put that to the test. It's crazy because even while I was feeling low I was experiencing some pretty big wins- the love and support of my family and friends, the true feeling of independence, and professional highs. I am not saying I should work under these conditions ideally, but imagine what a force I can be with a level head and plan for success, Sis. Ball tf ahhhtttttt!
I think that’s enough for this blog, Sis. Let’s end with some affirmations.
I am growing.
I am becoming.
I am a forever learner.
I will adjust.
I am never stuck.
I refuse to remain stagnant.
I will ask and work for anything I want.
Anything that I don’t understand I will figure out.
I will work on the life that I want tomorrow, today.
I will show up and be whole for me.
